Naive

I'm sick of little "of age" girls with the mentality of seventh graders.
Seriously? Gossip. Who likes who. Set me up with someone. You should do this. You should do that.

What makes you think I'm going to take the advice of a virgin seriously? A virgin who's never been in love, barely had a real "grown-up" relationship. Really? Absolutely ludicrous. Then, they have the nerve to judge me and my baggage.

Grow up people. Get your emotions toyed with a little. Logic is a sanctuary not enjoyed by humans. It's easy to talk shit when you don't know shit.

A Game

the weekend is over. my suicide mission complete.

i'm not dead yet

but at the same time,

mission status: incomplete

so now what? where's my next move? it's tough to make that decision right now. i can't see the whole board. even if i could, people aren't chess pieces. they don't make predictable, rational moves. emotions fuck everything up.

i pride myself on my ability to open and my epic talent with end games, but i'm stuck in the middle game right now. who knows where this will go. i just have to let the game develop. there are two players here, each with their own mechanisms and desires

problem is: this isn't a game. people get hurt. people have gotten hurt. i'm pretty sure there will be more pain in the future, but all you need is that one day to make you feel more alive than you ever thought you could be to reassure you. i need some more of those days

Heroine

She is my heroine.
She gives me highs,
And subsequent lows.
She's addictive.
She's bad for me.

She costs a lot of money to keep up.
She consumes a lot of my time.
She runs through my veins,
Because I inject her daily.
When she isn't there,
I'm miserable.
She is my savior.

She'll be the death of me,
But right now,
All I want to do is be with her.
She is my drug.
She is my love.

Bumpin uglies

that is such a disgusting, yet humorous, way to describe the beautiful act of love making. it does however, hold some merit.

many members of either sex will agree that genitalia, be it male or female, isn't necessarily the most attractive part of human anatomy.

"balls are saggy and gross"
"vaginas look like monsters"
blah blah blah...

but there are some that enjoy the sight of a fresh, hard dick, or a nice, juicy vagina. perhaps this enjoyment stems merely from the physical pleasure that generally follows an encounter with such a sighting. this blogger cannot fathom the optical joy of such things.

GROSS!

ITSTHEDELTWAY

the classy way

Catallus 16

Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo,
Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi,
qui me ex versiculis meis putastis,
quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
Nam castum esse decet pium poetam
ipsum, versiculos nihil necesse est;
qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem,
si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici,
et quod pruriat incitare possunt,
non dico pueris, sed his pilosis
qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
Vos, quod milia multa basiorum
legistis, male me marem putatis?
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.

so very elegant... =D

836 days....(and counting?)

500 days of summer has officially breached my top 5 favorite movies of all time.

1. forrest gump
2. 300
3. The godfather, Part II
4. 500 days of summer
5. Avatar

i feel like this movie can be enjoyed (loved) by anyone that can acknowledge the opposite sex in a post-pubescent manner. i cite my own experience as proof. sue me if you don't agree

thus far, i've seen it twice:
1. with abriella. we were happy. beautiful relationship. still in love. i thought the movie was awesome
2. with chas (no homo). broken up with abriella. very depressed. relationship in tatters. i still thought the movie was awesome.

that's a pretty astounding feat to accomplish, as far as a movie's goals are concerned. two completely different men, versions 1) and 2), both loved the movie.

the first time around, an "in love" person identifies with the happy times because, well, he's happy. he can even sympathize for the unhappy times in a "shit, i hope that doesn't happen to us" kinda way. all the assurance he needs is a 90 degree turn to the left and the lips waiting for him there. "good, now that that's settled, let's watch the movie some more."

the second time around, a "completely miserable, distraught" person identifies with the sad times because, well, he just got dumped. he sees Tom's pain. recognizes it as his own. they share a solid 210 days of misery (i think) before the movie ends. He even identifies with the happy parts of the movie because he was there at one point, too. but all he thinks during those joyous times is "haha, enjoy it while it lasts. she's just gonna dump your ass and take a giant theoretical shit on your face. then you'll feel like me"

regardless: awesome movie

Notorious

BIGGIE smalls. what a guy!

so i was watching Notorious with chas the other day. sure it was edgy and controversial and all that shit. but that wasn't the best part.

undoubtedly, the most amazing part of that movie was his level of GAME. damn, that dude could chop it up. big, black, and such a sweet talker.

i guess that's why he was "one of the greatest"

You can say

that you don't miss me

I think about you everyday.

Waiting for you to call <3 (soon)

Thanks Matt

The world keeps turning, so you better get off your ass before you miss a great opportunity.

<3 roommate

Without you

Without you, the ground thaws, the rain falls, the grass grows.
Without you, the seeds root, the flowers bloom, the children play,
The stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly,
Without you, the earth turns and the sun burns,
but I'd die, without you.

totally not my own, but its a nice poem

GAGAGAGAGAGAGA

emo shit is pissing me off. -_-

i have a joke

man walks into a bar...
.
..
...
....
.
.
........................................................ouch!

universal depression

over the past few days, i've posted lots of emo/depressing shit to my statuses on facebook/twitter (they're linked, don't call me a weirdo). these posts have been commented on and "like"d by so many people.

Inquiry: why do people like/identify with misery so much better than they do with comedy or joy?

over the course of my very short and inconsequential time on this earth, i've said some pretty funny shit. i've told some funny ass stories. i've made thousands of people laugh (okay, maybe not thousands, but definitely high numbers). but very few of them actually have a connection to the funny, happy stuff i have to say. they laugh. it's a good time; then it's forgotten.

why is joy so fleeting, yes misery so everlasting?

i like to think i've led a happy life. scratch that. i have led a happy life. but when i'm feeling shitty and emotional (like the past week) everyone "likes" that. everyone can relate to some similar experience, despite magnitude or exact situation. and everyone is so willing to join you in misery.

everyone is so sad, deep down. deep underneath that facade they show the world. everyone is miserable.

damn that's a shitty conclusion... didn't wanna arrive at that one =/

The good old days =]

Yogurt

Charles [Shrek 51] | MySpace Video

I know you.

I know you.
All about you.
I know you are in pain,
I know you're as miserable as me.
You talk a whole lot of shit on the internet,
Hidden behind your smiley faces and innuendos,
Pretending you don't feel what I know you do.
I know the reason you write all these things,
You know I can't survive without you,
You know I will see them,
You know they hurt.
You're fucked up.
I know you.

I know you,
Everything about you,
I know your every thought,
I have kissed your every dimple,
I've witnessed your every imperfection.
When will you learn, silly little girl?
It has been far, far too long.
You can't fool me.
I know you.

I know you.
When you wake up,
I'm the first thought on your mind.
I know when you are trying to fall asleep,
you can't because you're thinking about me, us.
I know you're sleeping with the blanket I gave you.
I know that you check your phone really often, hoping to see
something from me even though you know you're not gonna respond.
I know you want things to be better and everything to go back,
but your pride is in the way and you have to save face.
I know you simply can't function right without me.
You know how to make everything better.
All you have to do is call me, and talk.
I know you because I know me,
I know you love me because

I LOVE YOU